Article written by Lauren Johnston.
You know we all say “Oh I’m going home…” or “I’ll see you at home…” etc., but what is home? Because at first I thought it was a place, you know that home where you grew up, you had everything and what not. Then I grew up, I thought… home isn’t a materialistic place that you go to because your parents are there and your things/belongings with all the bells and whistles are there. Home isn’t a place, and after recently I’m not too sure whether it’s a feeling or not.
I used to believe home was a feeling, a feeling of belonging, of feeling welcomed, of being loved, basically just the feeling of being wanted and valued. In a way, yes, it is still all those things, but it’s much more than that as well, yes it’s a feeling but it is also a place, not materialistic, but you know that place in between, where it’s not about the actual house but the content in it, the things and feelings, those things you got from your grandad for your birthday or as a special present he got you from a trip, those things family give you that the price of never even matters because now that item is priceless. Those items can’t be re-brought from just anyone or replaced. Sentimental value is a part of the idea of ‘a home’.
Everyone has it tough, but there is nothing worse in my personal opinion than loosing something or someone that means a lot to you. Imagine your most favorite sentimental item that you have in your home right now, now imagine having to choose between keeping it or throwing it away? The answers clear right? You keep it, obviously… BUT! What if it wasn’t that easy? What if the only answer was to donate it or throw it away? Or… What if your partner made you get rid of it? Manipulated and talked you into getting rid of this item? As of recently, my hand was forced to get rid of somethings that I loved a lot. It got me thinking that those items were a part of my home, where ever I was in this world, if I had those things it was a sense of home to me. It was something I could look at and feel okay, even though it was hard, it would be okay in the end.
The meaning of home by Google’s definition is “The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.” This to me doesn’t make sense, at the moment I’m staying with my partners’ parents and himself, but not permanently, so does this make it home? Because honestly, I don’t feel like it’s home, half our belongings are in boxes in the garage, we have our clothes unpacked in a closet which isn’t ours, we have a bookshelf with pants, books, dvds, and other random items like that, and we sleep on a bed that isn’t ours, does that feel like home to you? Yes, I look at my partner and think I can be as happy as ever with him where ever, but the truth is if you don’t feel comfortable in a space then you are simply not going to be as happy as you want to be.
The more I think about it, there’s two options I’m torn between, and that’s ‘home’ is a feeling or ‘home is different for everyone’ and by that I mean home can be a materialistic place for some, it can be a feeling, or it could literally be they feel at home where ever they are because they are with their family or loved one. The only thing that gets me every time is everyone has this idea of a “dream home” and isn’t that a materialistic item? A house, a free standing building that you own and own all the items inside it. So does that mean that the meaning of home is different to everyone? All signs say so.
I always thought home would mean more you know? It’s something special right? Something you look forward to going back to at the end of the day. Somewhere to relax in and to call your own and to feel all of those feelings and emotions that I was talking about before, maybe that idea of home isn’t too farfetched and that maybe one day it will all happen, we will all have our perfect home and our happy families, but in order to have that you have to work for it. No matter what you can’t give up, if you want that home, by all means go for it, just don’t lose sight of what’s important, try your best to keep those things that are important to you and have sentimental value.
Right now for me is terribly hard, harder than it should be, I could explain but the thing I do know is that it isn’t forever, it isn’t the place I’m going to be for the rest of my life, its only temporary, and if that means for right now I have to be a little less happy and work a little harder then so be it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful I have a place to stay, but it’s sure as hell not the place I want to be… I personally believe that one day the world will get its crap together and we can all have our homes. I mean for f**k sake there are more new vacant homes and units then there are homeless people, why can’t they have a home like the rest of us?
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